Away From the Fishbowl

Rock hard camp beds.  A room full of 80 hormone raging, loud, energetic middle schoolers.  Messy games that usually involve shaving cream.  Kids who don't want to go to bed.  Why do I do this to myself every summer? Why do I volunteer to drive 5 hours to eastern Washington and serve at Camp Calvin? Because I am sure the Christian Reformed folks that strarted Camp Calvin decades ago knew the middle schoolers of our region (Oregon and southern Washington) needed to get away in a picturesque place and grow in their faith in our Lord Jesus Christ. Though the middle schoolers of today are not much different than the middle schoolers back then, I believe camp is needed now more than ever before.  Our middle schoolers are constantly distracted by screens, social networking, and advertisers demanding their attention.  Their schedules are jam packed with activities.  We as parents want to give them every opportunity.  Even we don't always give them th...

Rest can be hard work. I know what you might be thinking -- "This guy gets a three-month Sabbatical, and then complains that it's hard work. Fair enough -- but at least hear me out. Anyone can laze around and do nothing all day. That's not hard. But that's not rest either. This week past was week two of our Sabbatical, and the first week with nothing scheduled. No meetings. No activities. No agendas. No "have-to-be-somewheres." A typical work week -- without the work.  Being a scheduled person, I set about creating a loose structure for each day. Reading and writing in the morning. Spending time with the family in the afternoon or evening. This week, that afternoon time included the now-famous "Mentos & Diet Coke" experiment; visiting a museum with my son (and then corn-dogs and shakes at Sonic afterwards!); a hike with my wife's sister & her family; and lots of time at the pool. So where's the hard work in all of this rest? ...

One of the downsides of living in Oregon -- and there aren't many -- is that we are a great distance from family. Amy and I both have family in different places which aren't geographically closely connected. Her parents live just south of Grand Rapids, Michigan; her sister & family lives in the greater Grand Rapids area, and her brother and his family live in Virginia. My parents live in Edmonton, along with one of my brothers; another brother lives in Lacombe, Alberta, while a third lives near Ames, Iowa. The point in all of this is that it is impossible to live near all of them. And, as it turns out, in Oregon we don't live near many of them. Truth be told, that's not always easy. We miss out on spending time together. Grandparents, Uncles, Aunts, and cousins see our family only a couple of times a year. So, it's been a treat this Sabbatical to have extra time with extended family. My mom visited the first week, and the kids enjoyed a great visit with her, kee...

My sister's family lives in Michigan in our former hometown.  There have been many summers where we do not see one another at all.  This summer we have the blessed opportunity to see one another twice--once in Oregon and once in Michigan. Her family did a whirlwind tour of California and the Pacific Northwest.  They started in LA and are working their way to Mount Saint Helens in Washington staying at air bed and breakfasts viewing sights along the way.  All their adventures could compile into a blog of their own. I am grateful we could be the Oregon leg of their journey.  We were able to do some fun outings with them in and around the Willamette Valley plus give them much needed down time.  When they mentioned the idea of coming in June, I warned them about the "June gloom."  We can get cool, gray, rainy weather in June making us question when summer is going to begin.  This week has been the opposite extreme.  We have extreme h...

I have created this false reputation for myself among my church friends that I dislike camping.  Truth be told, I love the outdoors.  I am a "camper."  I find a tremendous amount of peace and solace sitting around a crackling campfire underneath a vast sky of stars. Most of my camping trips over the years have been youth group camp outs that I am in charge of.  Don't get me wrong--I have wonderful youth group kids that have bonded together on our outdoor expeditions.  Cooking for that many people (and I'm not passionate about cooking anyway), cleaning up, and planning activities leaves me spent. I sleep very little.  One year the middle schoolers went to bed at 11:30 PM and woke up at 5 AM.   Some of it is the mental stress of being responsible for other people's kids in the wilderness and keeping them safe  I am an extrovert so I have that going for me--but even I get claustrophobic and need a break from "people."  I will continue to do yo...

Marriage, ministry, and family. These three cords weave a complex strand that can be both beautiful and painful. At its very best, the marriage and the family are a both an oasis of safety and security from the demands and pressures of pastoral ministry, and a fuel that motivates, encourages, and strengthens pastoral work. At worst, marriages and families are sacrificed on the altar of ministry success -- leading to pastors who excel in preaching, churches with all the marks of success, while a marriage lays withered, and a family is strained beyond the breaking point. Ministry can be hard on marriage, and troubled marriages can be hard on ministry. When the demands of ministry become overwhelming, sometimes that stress is turned outward -- directed towards those who are the safest places. Sadly, of course, that means that those who are "safest" can bear the brunt of stress. The result can be marital drift -- the life-giving connection between husband and wife begins to fr...

When Rob was constructing the nuts and bolts of his sabbatical last fall, he mentioned the idea of going to a marriage retreat center.  My attitude was, "Sure.  Why not?  I will try it."  When it came to selecting a place for this retreat, I felt reluctance.  I did not know what we were signing up for.  I knew many marriage retreat centers popped up around the United States for pastors and pastor wives in the past ten years, but I did not know what they offered. I did not want to go to a structured marriage retreat that included main sessions and breakout sessions.  Don't get me wrong--these are valuable and I am helping with one of these in October.  I was feeling "retreated/conferenced out."  I also did not want a solitude retreat with no structure.  The idea of building on our marriage in a picturesque cozy place appealed to me, but I felt like I needed some mentoring or guidance from someone in order to grow from this experience. ...

In just over an hour, the evening service will conclude here at Sunnyslope, and my 3-month Sabbatical will officially begin. I spent Wednesday and Thursday, wrapping up all the loose ends (there are always more than you'd guess!), answering all those last emails, and then cleaning out my office. Though not technically vacating my office, I wanted to give our two interns space to make the office their own. As well, I wanted to return in September to a clean office. It was a good way to end the week. An empty inbox. It lasted about 9 minutes. If I'm really honest, though, the last few days have brought with them some feelings of low-level apprehension. I lingered longer in my office on Thursday than I needed to, not quite ready to leave it behind, even though I had no real reason to stay. What is it about stepping away from work for an extended period of time that is so difficult? For one, we as a culture tend to wrap our work together with our identity. We are what we do...

There was one moment back in April when I knew that I needed this Sabbatical. The plan for a Sabbatical had been in the works for over a year, but up until then, my awareness of this need was more cognitive. I knew intellectually that a Sabbatical would be a good idea -- but as of yet, I didn't experience the need. This moment served as a gut-check. Evening church had ended, and as is our family tradition, the kids were watching AFV in the next room while I was making my usual plate of nachos. Amy and I were laying out plans  I was in the for the upcoming week. My son piped up from the other room, asking a harmless question, but I just didn't have the patience to answer it. So I snapped at him. I told him to just go away. Amy looked at me, disappointed with how I had reacted. Rightly so. Later that night, I went and apologized to my son for my temper, and  thankfully, my son (like most kids) are pretty good forgivers. As I processed that event a little later, I cam to the ...

I have been starting our "pre-sabbatical days" with some spring cleaning.  I really did not believe we had this much stuff until we pulled it down from the attic and sorted. Three quarters of these items are day care related.  This is the last week I will be offering day care in my home. It is a bittersweet feeling.  I am grateful for how the Lord provided me with employment the past five years.  I assumed when we moved here in 2006, I would eventually start some type of part time job.  I was unsure of what type of worked I wanted to do.  If I paid someone to watch my children part time so I could work part time--we probably would have broke even.  It was not worth it. Even though being a stay at home mom did not come naturally to me and was tiring at times, I knew it was good for my kids. A few months ago I heard a "homeschool mom" say she started homeschooling many years ago believing it was the best way to educate your children and that eve...