Arizona Retreat Experience (by Amy)
When Rob was constructing the nuts and bolts of his sabbatical last fall, he mentioned the idea of going to a marriage retreat center. My attitude was, "Sure. Why not? I will try it." When it came to selecting a place for this retreat, I felt reluctance. I did not know what we were signing up for. I knew many marriage retreat centers popped up around the United States for pastors and pastor wives in the past ten years, but I did not know what they offered.
I did not want to go to a structured marriage retreat that included main sessions and breakout sessions. Don't get me wrong--these are valuable and I am helping with one of these in October. I was feeling "retreated/conferenced out." I also did not want a solitude retreat with no structure. The idea of building on our marriage in a picturesque cozy place appealed to me, but I felt like I needed some mentoring or guidance from someone in order to grow from this experience.
Rob mentioned 1010 ministries and I trusted him that it was not heavy structure nor was it an open schedule. He explained they had sights in San Diego or Arizona and mentioned the recreational activities. Then I got excited about spending five days in Arizona. I grew to love the southwest when I drove across it in high school and spent a few days in Tucson, Arizona while in college. Deep down, Rob wanted San Diego but he graciously signed us up for Arizona knowing my love for that part of the United States.
Although part of our week would include recreation in Prescott, Arizona, I knew the other time would include counseling sessions with our hosts Joey and Robyn. Again I felt this nagging reluctance mixed with anxiety. I am not afraid of counseling. I have had my share of counselors over the years that have helped me with my anxiety/depression, career choices, and cognitive therapy. However, I always tense up when entering a new counseling experience.
A couple weeks ago Rob and I had to fill out an intake form and I was apprehensive and aloof. It felt personal to share about some of the struggles we have faced over the years to people I knew little about. We had to schedule a Skype meeting a week before we flew out to Arizona. That particular morning had already started on the wrong foot with kids fighting to sit in the front seat, junior high drama, and my own burnout with my job. When I arrived at Rob's office for our Skype meeting, I felt a "Let's get this over with so I can go back to what I was doing" attitude.
When I first me Joey and Robyn over Skype, some of that anxiety dissipated. I felt a peace that God was going to work in BOTH Rob AND myself TOGETHER while in Prescott. I had to drop my reluctance and be willing and ready to grow.
God knows us better than we know ourselves and provides for our needs. I knew He was at work when we met Joey and Robyn because they were the kind of people I felt comfortable with almost immediately. They were older than us, but not in their golden years. I do enjoy talking to seniors, but in this particular situation I needed someone closer to my age. They were active and into the outdoors (hiking, biking, kayaking etc.) and eating healthy like myself. Even from first impressions, they looked like the kind of couple Rob and I would be friends with.
Again I still did not know exactly what we were signed up for. For some reason I thought we would be staying in a cabin or motel room. I did not know we would be staying in their house and doing activities with them. I also did not know we would be the ONLY couple there. However, God orchestrates his plan in beautiful ways. We had a quaint basement apartment stocked with food waiting for us. We had free use of areas in their backyard including their hot tub for rest and solitude. They lived a mile down the road from an athletic club we had full use of. They helped me see the art and the vulnerability of hospitality. This is something that will forever stick with me.
Our first night we were invited into their home and had a full meal with their family. I asked their two kids (who are a few years older than ours) if they were used to strangers coming into their home. They laughed and said, "Yep. Same meal." Which reminded me of my PK childhood with people coming in and out of our home.
Our days were loosely structured with a healthy breakfast delivered to our room, a morning counseling session, a recreation activity in the afternoon, late afternoon/evening counseling session, and an evening outing or activity. Most nights we got homemade decaf lattes delivered to our room and I am going to miss those--might need to invest in an espresso maker. We found we had a good balance of sessions, recreation, and down time.
The sessions were a time of pulling apart issues in our marriage to bring about strength, renewal, and letting go of the past. Every marriage has "sensitive spots" and couples will tend to not talk about them anymore, agree to disagree, or feel stuck in circular arguments. Although all four of us (myself, Rob, Joey, and Robyn) agreed Rob and I have a good marriage, there were some areas we felt trapped in the same issues. Some of those circular arguments or what I call "ping ponging back and forth" occurred this spring when we reached a particular busy and stressful season of our lives. It was challenging (and for myself emotional) at times to pick apart and dig deep into the past. I was (and still am!) truly amazed the growth that occurred. I have new tools to bring into our marriage and identify areas in my own life I need to grow in.
The afternoon recreation times were an opportunity to explore Prescott and the surrounding areas. I will go into more detail about the actual activity on my triathlon blog as I used them as workouts for the week. Basically we did an intense hike up to Thumb Butte, we kayaked (which was my favorite!) on Watson Lake, and hiked around Goldwater Lake. We did a shorter sunset hike our first night with Joey and Robyn near Watson Lake.
Our last full day we took a day trip to Jerome, Arizona which used to be a mining town and has become a touristy ghost down.
One of my recent hobbies is learning about abandoned buildings, ghost towns, and haunted places. Hey--everyone needs their geeky hobby. It was right up my alley. We ate at "Haunted Hamburgers" which was in an building converted into a restaurant and known for some paranormal activity.
Anywhere we travel, we like to sample local cuisine and not settle for chain restaurants for each meal. We enjoyed local pizza, a Greek restaurant, and a fancy date night at the Prescott Station.
I did not want to go to a structured marriage retreat that included main sessions and breakout sessions. Don't get me wrong--these are valuable and I am helping with one of these in October. I was feeling "retreated/conferenced out." I also did not want a solitude retreat with no structure. The idea of building on our marriage in a picturesque cozy place appealed to me, but I felt like I needed some mentoring or guidance from someone in order to grow from this experience.
Rob mentioned 1010 ministries and I trusted him that it was not heavy structure nor was it an open schedule. He explained they had sights in San Diego or Arizona and mentioned the recreational activities. Then I got excited about spending five days in Arizona. I grew to love the southwest when I drove across it in high school and spent a few days in Tucson, Arizona while in college. Deep down, Rob wanted San Diego but he graciously signed us up for Arizona knowing my love for that part of the United States.
Although part of our week would include recreation in Prescott, Arizona, I knew the other time would include counseling sessions with our hosts Joey and Robyn. Again I felt this nagging reluctance mixed with anxiety. I am not afraid of counseling. I have had my share of counselors over the years that have helped me with my anxiety/depression, career choices, and cognitive therapy. However, I always tense up when entering a new counseling experience.
A couple weeks ago Rob and I had to fill out an intake form and I was apprehensive and aloof. It felt personal to share about some of the struggles we have faced over the years to people I knew little about. We had to schedule a Skype meeting a week before we flew out to Arizona. That particular morning had already started on the wrong foot with kids fighting to sit in the front seat, junior high drama, and my own burnout with my job. When I arrived at Rob's office for our Skype meeting, I felt a "Let's get this over with so I can go back to what I was doing" attitude.
When I first me Joey and Robyn over Skype, some of that anxiety dissipated. I felt a peace that God was going to work in BOTH Rob AND myself TOGETHER while in Prescott. I had to drop my reluctance and be willing and ready to grow.
God knows us better than we know ourselves and provides for our needs. I knew He was at work when we met Joey and Robyn because they were the kind of people I felt comfortable with almost immediately. They were older than us, but not in their golden years. I do enjoy talking to seniors, but in this particular situation I needed someone closer to my age. They were active and into the outdoors (hiking, biking, kayaking etc.) and eating healthy like myself. Even from first impressions, they looked like the kind of couple Rob and I would be friends with.
Again I still did not know exactly what we were signed up for. For some reason I thought we would be staying in a cabin or motel room. I did not know we would be staying in their house and doing activities with them. I also did not know we would be the ONLY couple there. However, God orchestrates his plan in beautiful ways. We had a quaint basement apartment stocked with food waiting for us. We had free use of areas in their backyard including their hot tub for rest and solitude. They lived a mile down the road from an athletic club we had full use of. They helped me see the art and the vulnerability of hospitality. This is something that will forever stick with me.
Our first night we were invited into their home and had a full meal with their family. I asked their two kids (who are a few years older than ours) if they were used to strangers coming into their home. They laughed and said, "Yep. Same meal." Which reminded me of my PK childhood with people coming in and out of our home.
Our days were loosely structured with a healthy breakfast delivered to our room, a morning counseling session, a recreation activity in the afternoon, late afternoon/evening counseling session, and an evening outing or activity. Most nights we got homemade decaf lattes delivered to our room and I am going to miss those--might need to invest in an espresso maker. We found we had a good balance of sessions, recreation, and down time.
The sessions were a time of pulling apart issues in our marriage to bring about strength, renewal, and letting go of the past. Every marriage has "sensitive spots" and couples will tend to not talk about them anymore, agree to disagree, or feel stuck in circular arguments. Although all four of us (myself, Rob, Joey, and Robyn) agreed Rob and I have a good marriage, there were some areas we felt trapped in the same issues. Some of those circular arguments or what I call "ping ponging back and forth" occurred this spring when we reached a particular busy and stressful season of our lives. It was challenging (and for myself emotional) at times to pick apart and dig deep into the past. I was (and still am!) truly amazed the growth that occurred. I have new tools to bring into our marriage and identify areas in my own life I need to grow in.
The afternoon recreation times were an opportunity to explore Prescott and the surrounding areas. I will go into more detail about the actual activity on my triathlon blog as I used them as workouts for the week. Basically we did an intense hike up to Thumb Butte, we kayaked (which was my favorite!) on Watson Lake, and hiked around Goldwater Lake. We did a shorter sunset hike our first night with Joey and Robyn near Watson Lake.
Our last full day we took a day trip to Jerome, Arizona which used to be a mining town and has become a touristy ghost down.
One of my recent hobbies is learning about abandoned buildings, ghost towns, and haunted places. Hey--everyone needs their geeky hobby. It was right up my alley. We ate at "Haunted Hamburgers" which was in an building converted into a restaurant and known for some paranormal activity.
On our last night we enjoyed mud pies with Joey and Robyn. at the Palace Inn Hotel which is an old saloon converted into a restaurant.
This trip exceeded all my expectations and was an experience I will always remember. What I gained first and foremost was spiritual growth and a deeper connection to Rob. I am also grateful to Joey and Robyn who were basically strangers to us and quickly became trusted friends. I am confident we will continue a friendship with them and one day see them again in person. I am thankful for the opportunity to explore a new place in the southwest that is different from the other places (Tucson, Phoenix, Grand Canyon) I visited in the past. I believe this week was the perfect way to start our sabbatical. I will put the things I learned into practice these next three months.
Thank you Sunnyslope Church for giving Rob & I this unforgettable and renewing experience. For any pastor or missionary couples reading this--no matter what state your marriage is in--I highly recommend 1010 ministries! Please consider a marriage retreat if you are going on sabbatical/furlough or can take some time off from your ministry.
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