Away From the Fishbowl

12 years ago I was sitting around our apartment in Calvin seminary housing dividing my time between reading newspaper articles about the Hurricane Katrina aftermath and talking to friends on AOL Instant Messenger.  I was 9+ months pregnant and barely sleeping more than a few hours a night.  My job officially ended Labor Day weekend and my husband began his last rigorous year of seminary.  He also was in the process of looking for a part time job allowing us some sort of income that final year.  Because I was pregnant with our first, I did not have any other kids to care for.  So I found myself in this constant state of "waiting."  I woke in the morning thinking, "Maybe I will go into labor today."  Then the sun would set and I would try to fall asleep to the eleven 'o clock news...only to wake up and enter into another day trapped in a holding pattern. This was the baby God blessed us with in mid September.  She turned twelve years old two weeks ago.  Once

The moment that marks the end of a journey -- at least for me -- is the moment that the plane's wheels touch down on the runway. Prior to that, you are still in the air, still traveling, still "away." As soon as the wheels touch down and the plane rolls out, you are back in your home city and everything after that -- deplaning, claiming your luggage, driving from the airport home -- feels like a postscript. If you think about it, that few seconds when an airplane touches the ground is a dramatic moment. Hundreds of tons of aluminum, and people, and luggage which has travelled at hundreds of miles per hour in a sort of weightlessness, sometimes around the entire globe, is suddenly reunited with the laws of gravity. The jolt that yo u feel is the wheels of the airplane suddenly gripping the runway, accelerating to match the speed of the plane of the plane (over 150 MPH), and then just as quickly, decelerating from over to almost zero in a little more than a mile.

Yesterday, I shared a bit about what I learned about rest. I suggested that rest is mandatory, and that rest happens properly upon appropriate completion of work. It sounds simple enough -- but why do most of us -- myself included -- find this so difficult to implement? Rest is Incredibly Difficult:  I thought my first day of my Sabbatical would be light-hearted, easy-going, and carefree. It wasn't. I found myself somewhat anxious and uneasy. It didn't quite feel right not to be working. I suspect that is the case for many of us. It feels, well, wrong to take a day off, maybe even lazy or immoral to stop our work, and choose to play instead. Probe that a bit in your mind -- especially if you struggle to rest. What I found is a lurking temptation that I have to build my identity on what I do. So often, we convince ourselves that doing = being.  I want to justify myself by being successful, by accomplishing a lot, or by making sure that my children accomplish a lot.  Pastors ca

The kids started school this week, and the thermometer is dipping (some rain even fell yesterday). Yesterday, Amy and I walked through Minto Brown Park, here in south Salem, we had to tread over a carpet of yellow leaves. Fall is here in spirit, if not yet fully in reality. And our Sabbatical is winding down. I have two more days before beginning work again on Monday. Truth be told, I'm eager to get back into the groove. One can only rest for so long before the desire to work again grows. Sunday will be my last day out of the pulpit for awhile. We'll worship with our Sunnyslope church family, we'll enjoy lunch with some friends, and we may make one last appearance at the local pool where we've enjoyed a summer membership. I'll make nachos for dinner, and we'll raise a glass to the end of three wonderful months of rest. On Monday morning, I'll wake up early, and probably head for the gym. Breakfast will be rushed in that sort of way of getting three kids ou

One of my goals this summer was to complete an Olympic Distance triathlon.  Which I will not be competing in anytime soon. However, if you do not meet a goal, it does not mean you have to throw it out and start over. It gives you a good reason to try again someday. It was not one of these "get gung ho about training for something and then lose motivation only to be found not exercising and eating junk."  I have been in that situation many times over the years...I was there last summer after my sprint triathlon.  It is hard to bounce back from that.  But that isn't me right now. I spent twenty nine nights this summer sleeping in other places.  Compiled together, a whole month of my summer was not spent in my hometown.  Training elsewhere is not always easy.  When traveling with the family, it requires getting up earlier, using hotel treadmills, running in unfamiliar places, taking time away from the family, and feeling burdened by a strict training schedule.  It is d

I read twenty five books in 2017 as of today--twelve this summer.  Rob has me beat as he read seventeen.  However I am finding he can breeze through a non-fiction in a couple days whereas it might take me a week and a half...or longer. I pushed myself to read more fiction than nonfiction.  I naturally gravitate towards nonfiction.  I started a Book Club last December.  This has helped me read books I might normally bypass. My older two have competed in the Oregon Battle of the Books competitions in March.  Last year they both made it to the quarter finals with their team members.  I told them I would try to read as many of the OBOB books as I can...so far I am only at three. But I do have seven more months. When it comes to non-fiction my "geeky interests" are the city of Chicago...the Chicago Housing Authority and racial segregation and reconciliation in particular.  I also enjoy reading about The Vietnam War in both nonfiction memoirs and fiction books based on facts

My 3-month Sabbatical is winding down and our family is transitioning into "fall mode."  Our days spent at the pool are over (though we may stop in now and again in the next week or so); We enjoyed a day at the coast to enjoy Labor Day; the kids started school this morning. In some ways, the summer flew by -- it's hard to believe that September is upon us and this Sabbatical that we've been planning for and anticipating since February of 2016 is just a few days from being over. I think back to the first Monday where I didn't have to go in to work -- and we went out for breakfast instead -- and that seems like just yesterday. In other ways though, it has been a long summer, in the very best way. Amy and I started this Sabbatical by going on a marriage retreat in Prescott, Arizona, and when I reflect on that time -- eating pizza in downtown Prescott, enjoying coffee and conversation on the deck with Joey and Robyn, our mentor couple, hiking through desert landscape

Our last weeks of the summer were a time of recovering from our trip to Michigan as well as squeezing those last minute outings in before school began.  We came home the day before the solar eclipse (August 19th). After we enjoyed full totality and experiencing all the hype and excitement on the 20th--we crashed into a time of fatigue and exhaustion.  Rob was still on the other side of the world until that Saturday the 26th.  I never sleep well when he is out of town and I was jet lagged from travel.  I was getting up multiple times in the night and not getting good rest. I also was dealing with fall planning regarding my job.  Plus I had a few different conversations with others regarding church matters which pulled me back into a "non-sabbitcal mode."  It is amazing how easily that happens without really trying. Everything Rob does to keep our family going comes to light when we don't have him with us...even the little things.  I am not used to grocery shopping, coo